It’s the end of the year–a time of reflection. I kind of hate that. Why? While it’s a good thing to remember all I have to be thankful for, it’s also a time when I think about things I did not do or could’ve done better.
This last month in particular, I haven’t done much. Actually, the last two months have probably been unproductive. Maybe that’s true. But maybe only if I look through it from the lens of what is considered “normal.”
For many, being productive determines your value. This idea is ableist and often conveys that people who are unable to work, such as many disabled people, have lower value.
I know that isn’t true—disabled people have immense value. But the fact I have no concrete production to show for the last two months still bothers me.
The truth is, I was burnt out from promoting my book. As I said when I was writing my memoir, “I’m so sick of myself.” I needed to rest my body and my mind.
I also wanted to avoid news and media about the election. I re-watched the entire series of Downton Abbey plus both movies, I binged Outlander, Derry Girls, and Shrinking. I did read a little too.
It was nice and definitely provided me with the distraction I was looking for. But I didn’t accomplish anything to help my sales, write longer pieces, or figure out my future goals.
But then, this lack of focus sent my mind spiraling into overdrive. I’m trying to figure out what I want to do next. I’m currently in a poetry class, which I’m really enjoying, but I also have this itch to start a new book. I’m toying with the idea of turning some cut scenes from my original manuscript into something fresh, or maybe trying out fiction, flash nonfiction, or essays. Honestly, I’m still figuring out what 2025 has in store for me.
As we gear up for the new year, I want to remind myself—and anyone else feeling the same way—that it’s totally okay to take a break and not have everything figured out. Those moments of rest are just as valuable as the moments of productivity. When we allow ourselves to just chill and reflect, that’s often when the best ideas come to light.
So, here’s to stepping into 2025 with an open mind and heart. Let’s embrace whatever adventures our creativity throws our way. And if you’re also in that reflective space, I hope you find joy in the little pauses and the endless possibilities that await!
Untl the next. . .
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